


Driving Lessons

by corvusam



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Driving, Gen, Humor, Pre-Canon, episode ardyn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 19:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvusam/pseuds/corvusam
Summary: How ever did Ardyn learn how to drive a car in the first place?





	Driving Lessons

Emperor Iedolas agreed to give Ardyn the job of Chancellor on one condition—he learnt how to function like any other normal member of society.

At first, that seemed easy enough. Ardyn was an intelligent man. He quickly got a grasp on this brand new world set 2000 years in the future. Things had been a little shaky in the beginning, but Verstael had expected no less. In fact, he had been quite impressed on how well Ardyn was holding up. The man was wandering around his research facility as if it were his own house in weeks, and while he often got in the way of his work, it was better than being in a magically induced coma for months on end.

Since he didn’t need to eat, then he could skip over cooking as a life lesson. They had plenty of servants to clean up, so other than modern politics, there was only one large obstacle standing in Ardyn’s way of becoming the Chancellor.

Driving.

Verstael somehow forgot that cars had not been around for more than a hundred years. When Ardyn stared at his vehicle, completely baffled by such a contraption, the scientist had to figure out a way to try and explain what it did.

“It’s a form of transportation,” he had started.

Ardyn looked back up at him from the car. “How do you mean? There’s nothing to pull it.”

“It doesn’t _need_ anything to pull it, it has an engine.” Upon seeing Ardyn’s blank stare, Verstael sighed. “Just get in the driver’s side and we’ll start from there.”

It was a pleasant day. Verstael had specially taken Ardyn out on one of the airships to a more remote location to start his driving lessons—more importantly, he wouldn’t endanger his laboratory. Niflheim had another base a few miles south. The majority of the snow had been shovelled out, leaving the field empty and clear. Sure, there were a few storage sheds nearby, though they were well out of reach. He was sure Ardyn wouldn’t be as reckless as to drive all the way towards one. There was plenty of room.

Now, in most cases, Verstael wouldn’t let anyone drive his car. It was far too expensive to put in the hands of a man who had never even _seen_ a car in his life—let alone drove one. However, all the cars available were military tanks, and Ardyn couldn’t exactly drive one of those.

He reluctantly got out and gestured for Ardyn to take his place. The man spent a long time observing the interior before finally sitting down.

It felt weird to sit on the passenger side. Trembling, Verstael took a breath. “Firstly, you should adjust your mirrors.”

“Wouldn’t it be safer to look at the road?” Ardyn said incredulously.

 _Astrals_. “No, they’re for checking what’s behind you.”

“Why would I look behind me if I’m driving forwards?”

“You don’t look at them the entire time, you _idiot_!” 

As Ardyn flinched at his raised voice, Verstael leaned back in his seat in an attempt to compose himself. This was going to be more difficult than he had first thought. He was already a wreck from having to use his own car, but if Ardyn was this clueless…

He then took hold of the rear-view mirror and shifted it upwards. As Ardyn was quite a bit taller, he would also need to adjust his seat. Verstael pointed to the lever on the side and told him to move it until it felt comfortable.

Ardyn proceeded to yank it so his chair slid so far back it hit the rear seat. He then spent five minutes taking his sweet time in making sure it was _exactly_ right. What he had first said was comfortable wasn’t actually safe seeing as he couldn’t see out of the windscreen, and then when Verstael had tried moving the seat for him, he had his knees folded against his chest. They ended up settling somewhere in the middle, which still wasn’t ideal but it was a small car which just wasn't able to accomodate Ardyn's spider limbs.

“Now,” Verstael huffed, “you should learn which gear on the stick does what.”

Ardyn pointed at the first stick he saw. 

“That’s the indicator.”

He peered around and then pointed to the one on the either side of the wheel. 

“...That’s the _other_ indicator.”

“Why do you need so many contraptions?” Ardyn said in frustration. Well, Verstael supposed he couldn’t exactly blame him. A car’s dashboard would always be intimidating to a first-timer. Verstael remembered when he had been in his early twenties when he finally learned how to drive, which wasn’t all that long ago, yet it sure felt like an age. He supposed someone like Ardyn seeing a car for the first time wouldn’t be a simple matter.

Thus he forced himself to relax. _Deep breaths, Verstael_ , he told himself.

Getting through the gears wasn’t as bad as he imagined. It was easy enough. You would start in first and slowly make your way up to fifth the faster you got. Obviously there was a tad more to it than that, but baby steps. Ardyn spent a moment moving the stick until he felt comfortable.

With his mirrors and seat adjusted, it was finally time to start.

“Turn on the ignition.”

Another blank look.

“Turn the _key_.”

The car’s engine promptly hummed to life. Okay, good, that was a start. Verstael ignored the bead of sweat on his brow as he then gestured to the pedals.

“The one on your right is the accelerator. You step on that to go forwards.”

Ardyn immediately slammed his foot on it. The car’s wheels turned up mud as it struggled to go, only to shudder and stall. The would-be-Chancellor turned to him, confused. Verstael had clung onto his arm in a panic, snatching it away from the steering wheel. “Stop, you lunatic! You don’t _go_ when the hand brake is still on!”

“You mean this?” Ardyn pointed to the lever in between them. Verstael nodded in exasperation.

“Let me finish next time,” he snapped. Ardyn raised his hands in defense with a chuckle. “The pedal in the middle is the foot brake and the one on the left is the clutch. You use your left foot for that only.”

“And what does that do?”

“You step on it in order to change gears. For example, when you begin and any other time you desire to go up or down a gear. Some cars do it automatically.”

“Wouldn’t that be more convenient, then? Why not use one?” Ardyn scoffed.

Verstael flicked his blond hair out of his eyes with a huff. “Because, dear Ardyn, we are in Niflheim. Only Lucians drive those lazy pieces of trash. Here, we do things manually in order to have more control.”

He would get someone else to go into more detail on how the clutch actually worked, but for now Verstael really couldn’t be bothered. Just getting to where they were now was a pain in the ass. Ardyn listened decently enough, although every usual learner already knew what a car was. Considering Ardyn had only ever known drawn carriages, he _supposed_ he was doing… well enough.

After showing him how to decompress the clutch, pushing down the hand brake was the next order of business. The car rolled forwards slightly.

“Now raise the clutch—”

The car whined in protest as Ardyn sharply brought his foot up, stalling for the second time. He seemed startled by how the car shook violently. As the engine cut off, Verstael sighed.

“— _gently_.”

Okay, sure, everyone stalled. That was normal. Even he did it sometimes, but if only the fool would _listen_! Too confused by the contraption he sat in, Ardyn’s brain shifted into autopilot and obeyed whatever instruction he was given instead of thinking critically.

“Why did it do that?”

Verstael rubbed his temples. “It stalled. You brought the clutch up too quick. Look—I’ll explain another time, but for now just do it again, and this time raise your foot _slowly_.”

Ardyn ended up stalling three more times before he finally got it to work. “Huzzah, it lives!” he exclaimed.

Yes, well, this was only the first step. 

“You can go now. Place your foot on the gas gently, _not_ like before.”

The car trudged forwards at a snail’s pace. Its tyres screeched on the icy mud, though it was the best they had for the moment. It would have been better to drive on a dry road, in all honesty, but Ardyn had plenty of time. 

Verstael regretted thinking that when Ardyn suddenly slammed the foot brake down when they got to the end of the path. The scientist had to throw his hands forward to stop his head from hitting the windshield.

“Why did you do that?” he hissed.

“We came to the end of the road.”

“Then you _turn_ and keep going!”

Ardyn gave him a condescending sneer. “ _Someone_ woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

“ _Do_ forgive me for worrying about my car being destroyed.”

Sarcasm dripped from his words. The two men glared at each other for at least 30 seconds before sliding back into their seats. They’d only driven about five metres and they were already up in arms. Verstael began his breathing exercises again while Ardyn tapped his fingers on the wheel idly. 

It took them another five minutes to get over their bickering and start yet again. Three more stalls later and the engine was back up and running, and Verstael prompted Ardyn to turn to the left in order to make a square around the field. 

Once he was going, things smoothed out a bit. 

Verstael allowed himself to lean back and calm his bouncing leg, itching to step on a brake pedal that wasn’t there. It wasn’t as if Ardyn was going fast—in fact, he was going painfully slow. Verstael internally groaned when he flicked his eyes over at the speed-o-metre to read ten miles per hour. That was better than five, but still. Ardyn kept his eyes glued to the space ahead of him, not moving them once to look in the mirrors or at the dashboard. He would learn in due time.

After they’d circled the track a few times, Verstael instructed him to stop. Not used to the sensitivity of the brake pad, the stop was sudden, though it was better than the last one.

“Alright, there’s a road over that hill. I want you to drive onto it and continue on from there.”

“You want me to drive on a road? Won’t there be other people there?”

“There shouldn’t be at this hour. Just do it.”

The car was thrown into another fit of stalls. Verstael rested his head against his hand as he waited for Ardyn to stop yelling in frustration, repeatedly pushing the clutch up and down in an attempt to get the damn thing moving.

“Well, I’m not worried about going anywhere anytime soon,” he said bitterly.

The road was thankfully empty. It weaved into the frosty mountainside, but they turned in the other direction and began on the route that circled the imperial base. There were a couple of tanks and machines strewn over the place, however they were well out of their range. 

“Back in my time, we kept to the _left_ ,” muttered Ardyn.

Verstael raised an eyebrow. “That was 2000 years ago.”

He rolled his shoulder blades back. “Well, I found it more convenient.”

Did this man ever _not_ have a snide comment to make? Verstael elected to ignore him as they made their way past the base’s entrance. The guards at the front gave them an odd glance, confused to see a car drive by so slowly, but they couldn’t see who was actually driving. Verstael hid his face in embarrassment.

After an entire lap, Verstael spied some tanks making their way across the road. He made Ardyn stop at the top of the small hill to await their passing.

He sat there, bored, until he felt the car rock.

“Did you put the hand brake on?”

Ardyn moved his gaze over from the tanks to him. “Hm?”

The lever was down. He did not.

By the time Verstael raced to grab it, it was too late. The car had began to roll forwards. He screamed in horror as he realised they were about to crash right into a tank.

“Step on the foot brake! _Press_ it!” he yelled. The car revved suddenly. “No, not the _accelerator_!”

“You’ve already done it!” Ardyn snapped.

“This is the _hand_ brake!” Verstael scrabbled to lift the lever, yet it was too awkward at his angle. “For gods’ sake, man, brake! _BRAKE_ —”

He realised that the engine had turned off as they had stopped, leaving the foot brake obsolete. 

_—CRASH_

Verstael pulled his teeth into a wince at the sickening scrape of his car mashing its front into the imperial tank. Splinters of metal flew everywhere, a tyre bursting at the same time. Only then did the bleeding car come to a stop.

Ardyn let out a whistle as he stuck his head out of the window, surveying the damage. “Oh, dear. Terribly sorry about that. Can it be fixed?”

Slamming his head onto the dashboard, Verstael screamed.

* * *


End file.
